Raising Riley

Are you stressed even just reading the title of this blog? If so, you’re in the right place. I will always stand by my thought that flying with a toddler is one of the most stressful things you can do in motherhood!

The good news is that I’ve (mostly) successfully done it 28 times, and you can too! In this blog I’m going to break down some general tips to give you a less stressful travel experience and talk about the hardest and easiest ages for traveling so far. I’ll also share with you the worst experience I’ve ever had so you can feel better about your travel experience. As always, this blog is based on my experiences, so everything I say won’t apply to every child. However, these are some general things that have worked for us in our 28 flights together.

PRE-FLIGHT:

1. Make a list of everything you need from the car ride to the airport all the way until the car ride to your destination. If you have a long travel day then consider transportation items, emergency snacks, activities, change(s) of clothes, diapers, toiletry items, etc. If there’s a chance that you’ll need it or it would make your life easier, pack it.
2. Get your child’s energy out. There’s a fine line between getting their energy out and making them overtired, but as a mom you know your child best. When we have an early morning flight I just let Riley rest all morning before we get on the plane. If it’s a later flight, then I want her to at least get some wiggles out if we’re going to be stuck sitting for 3-4 hours.
3. Have a plan for the plane. Whether you write it out or you just have it in your head, have a general idea of what you’re going to do to keep your toddler busy during the plane ride.
4. I feel like this one goes without saying, but allow more time at the airport than you think you need. Yes, it sucks to be trapped at the airport with a small child. You know what sucks more? Missing your flight and having to do it all over again. Get there early to account for potty breaks, crankiness, outfit changes, gate changes, time for a snack, etc.

DURING FLIGHT:

1. Have NEW activities to do with your toddler. I’m talking about things they have NEVER seen that will bring excitement and joy! This keeps the flight fun and keeps them distracted from the fact that they’re stuck on a plane. For me, these items look like brand new sticker books, thin paperback books, coloring activities, etc. Any of the Melissa and Doug activities books (smaller sized) are great for this.

2. Have special snacks in your bag. We’re pretty strict about what snacks we let our almost 3-year-old have, but when we fly it’s pretty much a free for all. I make sure she has a good meal before we’re on the plane so that her belly isn’t just full of junk (don’t want a stomachache to add to the chaos of the day), but once we’re on the plane I have fun snacks packed away that she normally wouldn’t get to have. For us, this means fruit snacks, goldfish, maybe even little cookies. On this past flight, I let her get her own apple juice when they came around with the drink cart. It made her feel grown up and independent and she definitely enjoyed the flight more because it was a special experience!

3. Stay calm and survive!!! Easier said than done, I know. Every time that our daughter has had a meltdown on a flight it obviously makes it exponentially harder if I can’t control my emotions and keep us calm. If you’re doing your best, that’s all you can do!

WHAT TO DO IF EVERYTHING GOES WRONG:

I promise you, I’ve been there. With a 2 year old that’s flown 28 times, we were bound to have some disasters. The worst one (that I may or may not still have nightmares about) happened during a 18 hour travel day. Yes, 18 HOURS. We woke up at 4:00am to make the over 2 hour drive to the airport, had our first 3 hour flight, had a huge delay in our second flight, finally had our second flight (2 hours), and didn’t land back home until 1:00AM that night/next morning (2 hour time change). My daughter did not sleep AT ALL this whole day. Not a wink of sleep. She was just about to turn 2 years old. As you can imagine, she was pretty exhausted and upset by the time we finally made it on our last flight. To make things worse, we had gotten upgraded to first class (we thought this would be great- extra leg room!). Anyway, to get to the point of the story, it was a nightmare. For the last 40 minutes of the flight she screamed at the top of her lungs. Not just a regular cry, but a scream that I had never heard her do up until this point. Everything we tried only made it worse. We couldn’t calm her down, and it wasn’t until the plane was landing on the ground that she exhausted herself to the point of closing her eyes. Maybe you’re thinking, oh that’s not that bad. 40 minutes of crying is your worst experience? Well, if you had been on the plane and heard my daughter screaming as loud as she could in first class for 40 straight minutes, I promise that you would say differently. We ran off the plane with her crying, me crying, and my husband so shocked and confused at what had just happened. At least 5 people approached us afterwards, some positive and some negative. The best was an elderly woman who told me she was proud of us for making it through the flight and that it had to be hard. One of the least helpful comments worst was a man who told us he’s never heard something so awful and that he thought it would never end. Fair statement but definitely not helpful.

Okay so back to the point- what should you do if everything goes wrong? Honestly, if I could go back in time I would tell myself to try and relax. There was nothing that I could’ve done besides relax and show my daughter that everything was okay. We were trying to give her different toys, trying to rock her, trying to talk to her, and ultimately she only passed out whenever she was exhausted from crying AND we had given up and just let her do her thing. I wish we could’ve given her more opportunities to sleep throughout that day, but it just didn’t happen. It’s truly a live and learn situation. If this happens to you, just know that you’re not alone and that it’s such a brief moment in time. You will never see the people on that plane again!!!

RANDOM TRAVEL TIPS:

1. I board the plane last now whenever I travel with our daughter. We used to board first during the family boarding, but I’ve found that it makes it worse in our case. More time to kill, more time on the plane, etc. I think it’s easiest to get on near the end and not have to wait so long for takeoff.
2. Now that our daughter is potty trained I get her an aisle seat. This makes it easy for getting up and down to go to the bathroom. The window seat is fun but honestly she just wants to play with the window and it’s much harder to get her out.
3. I officially caved on her 22nd flight and bought a tablet. With as many long flights as we do, it’s been so helpful. We do very limited screen time at home but I download our favorite shows on the tablet and she gets to watch some when we run out of things to do on the plane (or if she’s just not having it). This has greatly helped with my flying anxiety too, because it’s like an emergency tool I have for if she’s having the worst time on the plane. This keeps her calm and happy (because it’s a treat for her!)

BEST TRAVEL AGES (SO FAR)

0-6 months: 10/10 amazing experience. No complaints. Breast-fed our daughter on the plane and she slept the whole time.

6-12 months: 8/10 mostly great experiences. As you get closer to 12 months it gets harder because they don’t want to be confined for that long. Do what you can to get little wiggles out before the flight!

1 year- 2 years old: 2/10 do not recommend. Worst time ever for flying in my opinion. They’re walking, they have opinions, they don’t want to be on a plane.

2 years- 3 years old: 7/10 mostly good. Activities seem to keep them busy and engaged. They have a better understanding of what they’re doing and why they’re on the plane. It’s an exciting experience for them and you can (sometimes) reason with them about what is going on. Emergency tablet works 100% of the time (in our case).

Whew, if you made it this far then thank you for reading! I think it was slightly therapeutic for me to get that all off my chest. I think that’s all the information I have to share, but as we continue to travel and our daughter continues to grow, I will update! Feel free to share your tips and tricks in the comments, I’m always eager to listen!